Change my life
by siri holm
Summary: Not your regular HarryGinny relationship. Gin can't live this way, she has to change her life, with or without Harry. I got this idea at 1am, don't have a clue were it came from so please Read and see what this is really about because I suck at summarys.
1. Everything has an ending

**1. Everything has an ending. **

It was Wednesday and Ginny was sitting in _her _sofa in _her apartment. She rested her head in her hands not knowing if she should laugh or cry. She could hear Harry in the bathroom; she knew every sound he made, not much about him surprised her anymore. _

When he came out she had to do it, she had to. 'Stay just a bit longer.' Ginny whispered and closed her eyes for a second. Ginny was 21 years old. Her hair still flaming red, her skin still milky white and still a hell of a Quidditch player. But she'd grown up a lot too, studying to become a healer, playing professional Quidditch. But her emotions were still the same, they had halted 6 years ago, but now she had to move on, move away. 

The bathroom door opened and Harry came out. His wet black hair messy as always, and a pair of happy green eyes beaming at her. 

"Harry…" She stopped, looked at him, she had to. 

"Yes sweetheart?" He smiled at her. 

"We have to end this, here, now." Harry's smile diapered.

"What do you mean? Why?" Harry barely knew what he was saying, his mind had gone blank. 

"Harry, you are a notorious cheater, none of us can live like this." Ginny's voice was full of sorrow. 

"Why not, you have never minded before." His eyes were pleading her to say it wasn't so.

"You are engaged this time, it is serious. It was ok when you and Cho was a couple, after she'd left school. Back then nothing mattered; I couldn't se any harm in what we did. It was just for fun, and because we liked each other. Only you probably liked Cho better than you liked me, because she was your girlfriend and I was just your lover." Ginny stopped to draw her breath. "I was always just your lover, but as long as it was nothing serious it was ok because I had you." Harry sat down in the chair opposite her. He'd always thought Ginny would stick with him forever. "You have cheated on every girlfriend you ever had, and I was always 'the other woman'". Ginny looked down. 

"But you won't be the other woman in my marriage…" Harry couldn't say more before Ginny yelled. 

"Why did you always come back to me, why did you do that when I never was good enough to be your girlfriend? The title, or rather lack of it, has never bothered me, but you are getting married, that is serious. That means we have no future." Harry realised how right she was. He'd never thought this would mean he'd lose Ginny, had he thought this through at all? "Mum has been nagging on me to get a serious relationship for 5 years, maybe…"

"Virginia!" Their eyes met again. "I understand how you feel. I'm sorry baby, I'm sorry I've done this to you. I should have thought of you when she proposed."

"A bit late now." Now it was truly over, when he started to apologise it was over.    

"I never meant to make you feel like my second choice, because you never were… I'll leave you then." Harry got up and walked towards the door.

"Harry." He turned and looked at her, hoping she'd say they would find a way to work it out. "My key." Harry's hart fell and stopped somewhere around his knees. 

"Of course." He took the key to Ginny's apartment off his key ring and put it on the table next to the door. "I'll see you on Sunday then."

"Goodbye Harry," she said as he opened the door.

"Goodbye Gin." He closed the door behind him.  

A/N: **This isn't the end you know**. Hope you liked it; probably think I'm crazy now, don't you. Please review, positives or negatives, I want to know what people think. Interesting finding out what you think about an idea I got in the middle of the night. Well, more will come soon I hope, when I get 5 reviews the next chapter will be up.    


	2. Ashamed?

A/N: Well I said I wouldn't update until I got 5 reviews, but I changed my mind because I'm going on holiday. Hope you enjoy.

**2. Ashamed? **

Sunday dinner at the Burrow, a tradition that had begun when the last of the kids moved out. Almost a duty for the Weasley children, and of course Harry and Hermione who could just as well have changed their last names. As time had passed it was also normal to bring any boy- or girlfriend you weren't afraid of bringing home. A great way to meet family and friends, and to keep track on what happened in their lives.

"So Herm, when are you going to bring him to dinner?" Hermione and Ginny was sitting alone in the garden. The two best friends didn't get to see much of each other these days. Hermione was teaching at Hogwarts and Ginny living in London.

"When I think they'll approve. Remus agreed. We started joking about what Molly might put him through, and it wasn't pretty." Hermione lay down in the grass.

"Everyone loves Remus, what can go wrong?"

"Everything, they'll look at him in a totally different way when they find out we are a couple. Don't you think your mother will call it cradle snatching? No one in there will approve of us. And what am I going to say to Ron? Hi, I dumped you and ended up with our old professor." Ginny giggled.

"There was almost half a year from you broke up with Ron until you got together with Remus. Are you sure you aren't ashamed of him? Are you sure that isn't why you won't bring him here?" Hermione looked at Ginny.

"Ashamed?" she stopped for a second. "No, I'm not ashamed of him, what is there to be ashamed about?"

"I don't think you should be, but he's twice your age, he's a werewolf. And you've always been miss perfect."

"I don't care how old he is, the fact that he's a werewolf we all have to live with. I've less than nothing to be ashamed of."

"Then why isn't he here? Why do you care what Ron and my mum thinks? If my boyfriend didn't want to tell anyone then I'd…" Ginny stopped, and looked toward the kitchen window. She could see Harry inside.

"Then what?" Hermione looked rather strangely at her.

"Then I'd think he didn't want me, wonder if he was ashamed of me or if he cared about me at all." There was something that sounded like detest in her voice.

"I'll bring him, eventually, he knows how I feel. I love him you know."

"Then don't let him go, whatever you do, don't let him go." Hermione sat up and looked at her.

"What if Dumbledore says I have to?"

"So that's the problem. You are adults; you can love whoever you want. He can't fire you for being in love, he isn't evil." Ginny smiled.

"You are probably right. But what about your love life? Got over Harry yet?" Ginny avoided Hermione's eyes.

"Come on Herm, I was 13 when I got over Harry. I had one stupid girlish crush and no one ever lets me forget it. When it comes to my love life there is not much time for it, with Quidditch and exams coming up. Probably best if I concentrate on my exams right now."

"So still no boyfriend."

"Cut it out Herm, you sound like my mum. A boyfriend isn't what I need now."

"It is your life, you know best. There is a rumour around that you got an offer from Ballycastle Bats."

"That is exactly what it is, a rumour, at least nobody's told me about it. Anyway, I don't think I'm for sale, still got two years left on my contract." Ginny looked up at the blue sky.

"If you got the offer, would you go?"

"If I got the offer right now, I would be in Ireland in about 24 hours, but if you asked me 2 weeks ago I probably would have hesitated. I don't know, I probably would have taken it, Ireland is good for anyone's Quidditch career."

"Hi, Herm, Gin, dinner's ready." Ron was standing in the doorway waiting for them.

"Coming!" Ginny said, got up and dragged Hermione up too.

A/N: Ok, what do you think? I want to know so please review. More to come soon.


	3. Dinner

**3. Dinner **

Except 'hi' and 'pass the potatoes please' Ginny hadn't talked to Harry. Actually she hadn't talked to him since Wednesday, they hadn't talked so little in a week for years. He'd tried to get hold of her; he'd shown up at her Quidditch practise, he'd owled her, he'd been waiting for her outside one of her lectures, he'd even called her on her mobile phone (something Ginny couldn't live without after her half year practising muggle medicine) but what ever he did she avoided him. Even during this dinner she avoided him, mostly she discussed Quidditch with Angelina and the twins. But she knew, eventually Harry's week old encasement was bound to come up.

"Can't believe you two are getting married," Hermione said to Harry and Marie.

"Nor can I," Ginny mumbled in to her wineglass. She was going to kill Hermione for bringing it up. No she couldn't. Hermione didn't know anything about Harry and her.

"I can't myself," Marie said smiling from ear to ear. If she smiled any wider she'd have to be stitched together again. Although her mother didn't like the thought of stitches after what happened to her father in her 4th year, Ginny had found it quite effective. "There is so much to be done I barely know where to start. But in the end I'm going to be Mrs. Potter"

"Are you going to change your name?" Hermione and Angelina looked at her as if she had some strange disease.

"Of course." Hermione and Angelina rolled their eyes. Ginny had to smile. She agreed with the two other girls, it was a mad ting to do; your identity is in your name isn't it? A name is a powerful thing, people still didn't say Voldemort, but Tom Riddle didn't frighten anyone, the power was in the name. "I thought of something last night, Ginny." Marie ripped Ginny out of her thoughts. "Do you want to be one of the bridesmaids?"

"Me? A bridesmaid?" It was obvious from the look on his face that Harry had never heard this idea before.

"Yes, I know how close you and Harry are." Harry, who had just taken a sip of wine, started coughing. Ginny's eyes met Harry's for the first time tonight.

"I think I'll have to pass on this one," Ginny said calmly.

"Why?" Marie asked. Everyone's eyes were fixed on Ginny, even Harry's, she wished he could look away.

"Can't come to the wedding. Got an important Quidditch match that day." It was the best she could come up with when everybody was looking at her.

"Ginny," Harry's voice was almost a whisper, "we haven't set the date yet."

"Shit!" Ginny said that a bit louder than she'd intended to. She looked straight at Harry. "You know I'm a fool when it comes to excuses, that's why I had so much detention." Ginny wondered who would yell at her first.

"Aren't you coming to the wedding?" Ron looked astonished at her.

"Wow, Ron actually got the point," Ginny said sarcastically.

"Why?" Marie said. Ginny started to wonder if that was the only word she knew.

"Personal reasons," she concluded, trying to make it as painless as possible for both her and Harry.

"Ginny darling, you have to go to the wedding." Molly's look told her this was an order.

"Harry," their eyes met. "do I have to come to the wedding?"

"No, no one can force you."

"Exactly," Ginny snapped.

"After all you two have done together and all you've been through you won't even show up as his wedding?" Ginny wasn't sure who had said it, she was too busy trying to figure out Harry's look.

"Because of all we have done, and all we've been through, I won't come to the wedding." She knew Harry was the only one who understood.

"Come on Gin, he has saved your life, can't you at least come to the wedding." Ginny stiffened at Ron's words. Her mind worked franticly for a moment before she, out of nowhere, got up and kicked her chair backwards.

"I've made up my mind!" she yelled, turned, and almost ran out of the room.

"How stupid can you be Ron?" Hermione snarled. She looked at Harry before she continued. "Play on the one thing she really hates, something she newer speaks about. What is wrong with you?" Harry got up. "Going after her?" Hermione asked.

"Of course, this is all my fault." Harry gave Ron an ugly look.

"Try to convince her to come to the wedding then honey." Marie said.

"I will do nothing of the kind. And, Marie, next time you have a brilliant idea involving my friends, tell me," Harry snarled before he ran out of the room.

Harry found Ginny just outside the hedge. Her eyes dead and red, she'd pulled her knees up under her chin.

"She was pushing," Ginny said. "After Wednesday I don't handle people pushing me anywhere else then on the Quidditch pitch." She hadn't seen Harry yet, but she could hear it was him, she knew his footsteps.

"She can be kind of pushy." Harry sat down next to her. "I had no clue she was going to ask you to be a bridesmaid, and I'd no clue your family would react like that."

"It isn't your fault, they don't know, they don't know anything." Harry put his arm around her and kissed her hair. "I could have sat through the wedding, but help to plan it, pretend to be happy for you, that I can't do." Harry tried to pull her closer. "Harry don't, even if I'm not coming you are still getting married." He could se Ginny wiping away a tear hoping he didn't see it, but he did.

"I've almost taken you for granted the last couple of years, I'm sorry. I hoped, I thought you would stay even if I got married. I never thought I would loose you." She didn't look at him. "Have I told you how much I love you?" their eyes met.

"A long time ago. I wish I could stop fooling myself. Thought you might come around, and there would be just you and me. But I was wrong, it's never going to happen." She shook her head. "How stupid can I be? I'm going home." She pushed Harry's arm away and got up. "Tell Marie I'm not going to your stupid wedding. I'll se you next Sunday then." She vanished with a crack. Harry sat there for a moment, he loved her, but he was in love with Marie too. Harry got up and walked back into the kitchen.

"What happened?" Hermione was sitting by the kitchen table waiting for him.

"She went home. Been pushing herself really hard during practice, she's tired," Harry lied.

"Still not going to the wedding?"

"Not even if you pay her." Harry smiled; no one could get Ginny to do something she didn't want to do.

"Always had a soft spot for you, didn't she, never really stopped liking you." Hermione looked him straight in the eyes. "Are you sure about marrying Marie?"

"I'm in love with her, Herm." Hermione tilted her head.

"Do you really love her, or are you just in love with her? Can you answer some things for me?"

"Of course."

"Is Marie your best friend?"

"You, Ron and Ginny are my best friends; no one gets close to that." Hermione nodded.

"Do you trust her, and then I mean with everything, with your life?"

"I trust her, but if I trust her with my life I don't know. Never been in a situation where I had to."

"Are you passionate, and then I mean really passionate."

"All lovers are passionate." Harry answered.

"There are many trivial things in life Harry, love isn't supposed to be one of them." What was this? Harry stared at her. She'd always been supportive of what Harry did in love, was Hermione having doubts? "I've felt the difference between love and in-love."

"When Ginny studied psychology she asked me a question." Harry wondered if Hermione could hear he was lying. "A man has many girlfriends, but cheats on all of them with the same woman. This goes on for years, what will you say about this man?"

"You know this isn't my field of expertise. But I would say that he wasn't cheating on his girlfriends, he was cheating on his lover, she was number one in his mind. But he was probably afraid of screwing it up if he commits to her. Hopefully so stupid a man doesn't exist." Hermione smiled.

"Herm, are you coming with the ice-cream or do we have to sit around until morning?" Fred stuck his head through the door.

"Coming! Harry, grab the spoons over there." Hermione took a big bowl of ice cream.

"Harry, love, what did Ginny say?" Molly asked.

"She told me to tell Marie that she isn't coming to the stupid wedding." Hermione giggled.

"What?" snapped Marie.

"Nothing, she just always had her way around words." Hermione had to bite her lips together not to laugh. Someone knocked on the door. "I'll get it," she said.

"Does anyone actually approve of this wedding?" Marie asked.

"Of course we do, but in this house we don't care about approvals anymore. Can't remember anyone approving when Angelina and I broke off our engagement, for the 2nd time." Fred put his hand on Angelina's and kissed her.

"Remus," Hermione said surprised when she opened the door.

"I know we agreed that I shouldn't come, but I have a message from…" Remus couldn't finish his sentence because Hermione had wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. The conversation around the table ended. "Hi," Remus said with a foolish grin.

"I changed my mind." Hermione said smiling.

"I noticed." Remus closed the door behind him. "I just talked to Gin. She said my coming down here was long overdue. She isn't going to say she's sorry for anything she said or did during dinner. She wonders if anyone could send her an owl when this wedding business is over, because she is not coming to the wedding. And she won't be coming to dinner in a while, said something about going away until it was safe to come home again, I don't have a clue…"

"She's leaving?" Harry jumped up. He knew that Ginny could pack up and leave the wizard world and still live a very successful muggle life. One more year of studying and she'd be a muggle doctor and money wasn't Ginny's problem.

"She said so, but she's probably still at home."

"I'm not going to lose her." Harry said and disappeared with a crack.

"Did Harry just go off to find the one who called our wedding stupid?" Marie looked at the people around the table.

"Yes, and with good reason, she's one of his best fiends. She means a lot to him and so does her approval, but it's obvious she doesn't approve." Ron didn't look at Marie, but at Hermione and Remus.

"They'll work it out, they'll find out what's best for both of them," Remus said, he was almost hiding behind Hermione, his arms around her waist. He could see Molly disliked it; she'd always been protective of her children, including Hermione and Harry. Hermione squeezed his hand, turned her head and smiled at him. Hermione could feel it too, there was a feeling of shock and dislike, only Arthur looked as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

"You are probably right Remus." Arthur said. "Do you want to have some ice-cream? Since both Harry and Ginny have left we have much more than we can eat."

"If it is ok with you Molly." Molly hesitated a moment, but she saw Hermione's pleading eyes; she couldn't hurt the poor girl.

"Of course it's ok, Remus," she finally said.

A/N **please, please, pretty please review**


	4. Sweet, childish, stupidity

A/N: hello! Thanks to everyone who has reviewed my story :o) And I want to say that today is my birthday, at least it was my birthday when I published this (got a sudden rush to tell everyone) so now I'm 17 hihi.

But the bottom line is here is another chapter and I really hope you like it.

**4. Sweet, childish, stupidity **

Harry was standing just inside the door to Ginny's apartment. The key was still on the table were he had put it, it was odd that she hadn't just put it into the drawer were she kept all her keys. He could hear her stereo was playing, he'd heard the song before but he couldn't remember the name.

He walked across the living room and stopped in the doorway to Ginny's bedroom.

"Ginny?" She was putting clothes into a suitcase.

"What are you doing here?" Ginny turned and looked at him. Her hair messy and her face tear stricken.

"Remus came over after you'd left. He told us you were leaving." Harry's mind stopped functioning; he hadn't a clue what to say next.

"That's the plan. I can't stay." She tried to smile. "Couldn't even handle Sunday dinner."

"Don't leave me Ginny." He could se she was trying not to cry. "Ginny." His voice was barely a whisper, he walked over to her.

"No, you left me." She said and stuffed more clothes into her suitcase.

"Can you stop that and just listen?" Ginny stopped, she just stood there, staring at him.

"Hermione is having doubts about this marriage." Ginny rolled her eyes, she'd stopped crying. Suddenly there was something to fight about, fight for. He couldn't say he'd put her trough all this misery for nothing.

"Well, Hermione isn't getting married so how can that help?" Harry grabbed her hand.

"Let me finish, ok? Herm asked me some questions; you are going to listen to them and my answers." For a moment Ginny wondered if she should pull her hand away, but she didn't. "She asked me if Marie was my best friend, but the truth is that you are my best friend. You and Herm and Ron, but Marie is far from my best friend." Harry was getting mote confident, thanks to Ginny's calm body language and most importantly she was still holding his hand. "She also asked me if I could trust Marie with everything." Harry used his free hand to wipe away the remaining tears from her cheek. "But there is no one I trust like I trust you. She asked about passion," he could see Ginny started to smile. "Well you know just as well as I that passion is our middle name. " Did she blush? Harry wondered what she was thinking of. But the thought was obviously over because her smile disappeared and she looked away.

"You are marrying her, I can feel it Harry. You never break a promise like that. I'm going to stop fooling myself." She pulled her hand away. "You'll newer be mine." She muttered.

"Ginny, I don't think I love her, I'm just _in love_ with her or maybe I'm just in love with being in love." Ginny started putting clothes into her suitcase again.

"You are talking rubbish you know." Ginny wanted to believe him, but he didn't have it in him to break the engagement. Harry got to his knees, wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his head against her stomach.

"You scare me Ginny, you freak me out. I love you Ginny. I'm just afraid I'll screw it up and lose you." She looked down at Harry. He was kind of sweet, stupid, childish, and sweet.

"Harry…" she couldn't finish, he interrupted her almost before she started.

"I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you." Every time he said it, his voice grew louder.

"Harry." She loosened his grip and sunk down to her knees. "You are being stupid." She paused. "You are acting like a child that can't have sweets for dinner." She ran a finger along his scar. "You always wanted to please everyone." Her touch sent shivers trough his body. "Childish." She muttered. "You won't break her heart; you couldn't break a heart to save your life. Got that from your mother." It was as if something inside him broke when Ginny talked about his mother. She always seemed to know, more about his parents then he did. He and Ginny had dragged every memory, thought and picture of Lilly and James out of people who knew them, even Snape. Harry had learned a lot about his parents, but Ginny, Ginny was fantastic with people. She was able to piece together an image of there personalities, right down to James' arrogance and Lilly's temper. And she was right, even Snape had to admit she was right.

"What about your heart?" Harry's big green eyes looked puzzled at her.

"I don't think my heart is breakable. And as I've been telling Hermione for ages; I got over you when I was 13." She kissed his forehead. Harry pressed his palm against hers.

"I'll break the engagement. Ginny, it's you I want to be with. I love you." She let his fingers slide in between hers. "I'd rather break a 100 other hearts then to break yours."

"You should talk to Herm; make her write that book on a girl's mind, you still don't understand them. Ginny smiled gently while a tear found its way down her cheek, Harry kissed it away.

"Gin, if I weren't engaged, didn't have a girlfriend, would you, would you want to be with me, really want to be with me?" Ginny didn't answer. "I've been telling you how much I love you but you…" Ginny put a finger over his lips.

"Harry, you left me, you are getting married. There is no room for me to tell you how much I love you or how much I want you to stay with me."

"What if I break the engagement? I'll come crawling back on my hands and knees."

"Very unlike a Potter if you do." She giggled. "But I would."

"Does that mean you aren't leaving?"

"No, I'm leaving. Got a week off. Going to take some time away from everything. I'm leaving tomorrow morning." She looked into a pair of frightened green eyes. "I'll be back; I just need some time to think. Hopefully you'll have set the date by then so I can confirm that I actually got Quidditch that day."

"When you come back there won't be a wedding." He kissed her gently. "I love you Virginia."

"Go back to Marie now, let me pack. And if Remus is still there, tell him I'm looking forward to seeing him next Sunday."

"I will," he said and let go of her hand. "See you in a week then." Ginny nodded. "You are coming back, right?"

"Yes, I'm not going to snap my wand and run off to the muggle world."

"You have almost done that before."

"I was 16; people do crazy things when they are 16. Go home now, or else I won't get anything done."

"What if I don't want you to get anything done?"

"Harry, go now." She kissed his forehead. "Off you go." He got up.

"Gin?" she looked up at him. "Can I call you?" She shook her head. "OK then."

"Bye Harry."

"See you later." Harry left. Ginny lay down on the floor staring up at the ceiling.

"I could use some help right about now!" She started laughing.

A/N: Is this the end for Ginny and Harry? You'll know by the end of the story, but not today (unless you read this after the story is completed, because then you'll know it today).

I hope you liked it, and if you did I want to know, and if you didn't I want to know, and if you think it's all rubbish I want to know, generally I want to know what ever you think, write me a mail if you don't want to put it on the web. That was one sentence, it must be terrible to try to say that in one sentence: oP

Well… so… I'll leave you for now but I'll be back evil laugh, and I think you can put this entire Authors note in the "Siri is crazy" file giggles.


	5. We have no secrets

**5. We have no secrets **

"Mione, can you help me?" Ron asked. Hermione knew this had nothing to do with the fact that he needed help; he had something he didn't want to say in front of everyone.

"Sure." Hermione took half of the plates and followed him into the kitchen. He closed the door behind him.

"Remus?"

"Yes, Remus, and the last thing I need is you yelling at me."

"He's what, twice your age?" Hermione looked down.

"Approximately." She answered.

"He's old enough to be your father." Ron continued.

"Well, he isn't my father, so I don't see the problem." Hermione snapped. "You are my best friend and I would really like your support. I really like him, it's not like I'm sleeping with him to get a better grade." Ron smiled.

"So that's how you got top grades." She could hear he was joking, but gave him an ugly look. "I'm joking. If you are sure, who am I to say you shouldn't. I just want you to be careful."

"I am careful. I'm a big girl; I can take care of my self."

"I know you can." He was about to ask her something, but stopped himself.

"No" Herm said. "There was nothing between Remus and me when we were dating." Their eyes met.

"I didn't ask." She smiled.

"You wanted to." He knew she was right, but he wasn't going to show it.

"I trust you."

"I know you do, but you were still wondering." Angelina opened the door.

"I wouldn't go in there if I were you Herm. Molly is telling Remus exactly what she thinks."

"Poor Remus..." Hermione said as she walked over to the door, she opened it just a bit so she could see and hear what was going on.

"Cradle snatching, Remus, cradle snatching, that's what it is." Hermione had expected that one. "She's just a child, what are you thinking of?" Remus looked remarkably calm.

"She's not a child Molly, she's an adult. She's a smart, independent, beautiful woman. And she knows exactly what she's doing. I can also remind you, Molly, that at her age you were a mother, of two if I'm not mistaking."

"Remus, she's just so much younger than you are."

"Does age really matter that much? She's old enough to do teach at Hogwarts. We are both adults, if we want to be together we'll be together." Remus concluded.

"You know he's right, Molly." Arthur looked at his wife. "They are both responsible adults, and no one can force them together or apart."

"Is it safe?" Ron whispered to Hermione.

"I think so, if your mother is going to let your father have the last word."

"Let's go out there then." Ron pushed her trough the door.

"Don't do that Ron," she said when she regained her balance. Hermione gave Remus a playful smile.

"What are you smiling about?" Remus wondered

"I like being called a smart, independent, beautiful woman." She kissed him.

"Does this mean everyone is finished yelling as us."

"I think mum covered most of it, but if I come up with something I'll owl you at once." George laughed when he saw the look on Hermione's face. "I'm just kidding Mione. As long as you know what you want. But Remus should remember she's like a sister to us, so if he plays with your heart he has to watch his back." Remus pushed some brown curls away from Hermione's ear and whispered.

"So when you stop dating them you turn into their sister."

"I know, I was never able to have a normal relationship." Remus kissed her neck.

"Hi guys." Harry had arrived. "Hi Remus, you're still here," Harry said half surprised.

"Didn't you think he would be?" Hermione said smiling.

"Well, he came, you kissed, I left… I don't know what I'm thinking. But what I do know is that Gin is really looking forward to seeing you next Sunday, Remus, but she's always looking forward to seeing you." Harry smiled.

"Did she tell you where she's going?" Remus looked up at Harry.

"Don't have a clue, but she's leaving in the morning."

"She has a Quidditch match Sunday morning, which means she'll have flying practice on Saturday." Remus was thinking. "Around 5 o'clock for two hours, then she'll go home, take a shower, have dinner. An hour practise with the Quaffle and she'll be in bed by half past eleven, in her bed, alone, very important." He talked to himself, when he looked up everyone was looking at him. "What?"

"How do you know this?" Hermione looked suspicious at him.

"She was one of my students." Hermione lifted an eyebrow. "She was Gryffindor captain, she was Harry's…" He stopped himself. "She is a very good friend of mine, hadn't had a friend like her for 17 years. She has trouble written all over her; she needed someone to get into trouble with and someone to bail her out. We don't have secrets." Remus looked Harry in the eyes. He knew, Harry had thought maybe Hermione had known, but she didn't, it was Remus who knew about him and Ginny. Harry had a sudden need to take control of the conversation.

"What friend was she like?" Harry asked.

"Is," Remus corrected. "And that's between me and Gin." Harry didn't like the answer. "She's probably going north, she likes it there, and you should all stay away from her on Saturday. It's an important match." Harry met Remus' eyes again. "She might have a backbone but she is a tender flower."

"She is isn't she? Marie is it ok if we go home, I'm feeling kind of tired."

"Of course we can. Well se you all next Sunday then."

A/N **please, please, pretty please review.**


	6. Crashing

**A/N: It's been a terribly long time since I updated, I know, but I haven't had the chance because of all the school work we've had. But here is a new chapter, hope you like it. **

**6. Crashing **

The doorbell rang in Ginny's apartment. It wasn't Harry; he didn't have the courtesy to ring when the door wasn't locked. And it wasn't Remus, he had his own key. She opened.

"Marie? What are you doing here?" Marie was one of the last persons she expected to see on her doorstep.

"I wondered if I could crash here to night, Harry is starting to scare me."

"Of course, if you don't mind sleeping on the couch."

"No, I don't mind."

"So Harry's scaring you? Are you afraid of other things that in no way can harm anyone?"

"He's like a caged animal in the apartment, walking back and forth. And when I ask him what's wrong he says it's nothing." Marie sat down.

"He's an Auror, it might be job related, and there are many things they can't talk about."

"He doesn't look sane walking back and forth like that. "

"Well, he isn't sane, never been sane. Just give him and yourself time, you'll get used to it." That didn't seam to comfort Marie. "Do you want a glass of wine?"

"Yes please." Ginny went in to the kitchen, got to glasses and a bottle of red wine. As she put it down on the coffee table she remembered something.

"I'm sorry Marie, I have to go out for 15, 20 minutes, if it's ok."

"Of course it's ok if you don't mind leaving me alone here."

"Can't do any harm can you, except drink all the wine before I come back." Ginny smiled.

"I won't"

"Don't wait for me, just start the bottle. I'll be back soon." Ginny grabbed her cloak and locked the door behind her.

Marie poured herself a glass and started to look around the room. Marie walked over to Ginny's bookcase, medical books, books on dark magic, muggle literature, books on spells and curses, books on Quidditch, a book Hermione had written on the war. Marie pulled out a big, black leather bound book, she opened it. The first page she looked at was about the Avada Kedavra spell, its effect, how to cast it, how it felt to cast it. Just inside the cover a name was written in emerald green ink; "Lord Voldemort", it was his handwriting; a letter he'd written had been printed in the Daily Prophet during the war. Under his name another name was written in blood red ink; Virginia Weasley. Why would Ginny have one of you-know-who's books? She kept flipping trough the book, dark curses, dangerous and almost impossible potions, and awful beasts, anything you would connect with dark magic. For a second she wondered what Ginny had done during the war.

Marie knew one thing for sure; she wouldn't keep this book in her living room. She put the book back, she would have locked it up in Gringotts. She moved along the bookcase to a shelf with pictures, Harry's graduation picture, Ginny's graduation picture, a picture of Harry's parents and their friends, a picture of Ginny and Remus on her graduation. Marie's eyes fell on a picture of Ginny and Harry behind the others, she took it down. It was taken by the lake at Hogwarts. Ginny and Harry were too busy with the stars and each other to notice anyone looking at them. She looked at the back, it was dated two years back; Marie didn't know they ever had a relationship. When she ran her finger over the date words written in gold appeared.

_And all I ever needed was the one  
Like freedom fields where wild horses run  
When stars collide like you and I  
No shadows block the sun  
You're all I've ever needed  
Baby you're the one_

The words faded away and new words appeared.

_I know that wasn't very original, actually I found it in your CD collection, The One by Elton John._

_We never finished counting the stars that night, but next time you have to remind me to count you to, because you are a star fallen from the sky to be with us._

_Love Harry _

Ginny had a bit too many secrets for her liking, but she was starting to understand that everyone that was in the order during the war had too many secrets. And they didn't talk to 'outsiders' about it. Sometimes Marie felt like an outsider around Harry and his closest friends, she hadn't fought in the war. She was barely 17 when it was all over; she was the same age as Ginny. It was safer to wait until it was over. She put the picture back. Maybe that picture was the explanation why Ginny didn't like the wedding, she wasn't over Harry. That would explain her behaviour during dinner. No reason to rip up in that, he had to be hard to get over especially after what they had done during the war, many of the things that happened back the still ran their life.

Ginny's little errand had taken longer than she'd expected, a full half hour had passed before she came back. And when she did, Marie seemed much happier then when she left. There was no talk about Harry or the wedding, something Ginny was grateful for.

**A/N** **please, please, pretty please review.**


	7. Dream

**7. Dream**

A bottle of wine and many laughs later Ginny had gone to bed. She'd never disliked any of Harry's girlfriends, except Cho, but that was mostly Quidditch related. They were always worth a couple of laughs. Some of them weren't the smartest, but they were ok. Another 5 minutes and Ginny was asleep.

She looked into a pair of green eyes.

"Is it really that bad?" Ginny looked at the young woman in front of her. The red hair framed her face, and her green eyes were just like Harry's.

"I don't know, Virginia. You were the one asking for help."

"I know, Lilly, I know. My life is just a mess. Maybe I just need some advise." Ginny ran her fingers through her hair.

"Do you know what Remus said about you today? He said that you have a backbone, but you are a fragile flower. "

"He would say that about you to. He loves us you know, and we love him." Ginny had a distant smile.

"You are letting him go, aren't you?" Their eyes met. Ginny knew they had changed subject.

"I have to, don't I?"

"He's thinking of you, I can't remember him thinking this concentrated about anything since the war."

"Lilly, I don't need you to tell me that Harry loves me, he's just done that."

"What do you want me to do, Virginia? He's my son, I want him to have the best, and I want him to have the one he loves."

"Then you talk to him, you know what he's thinking, you make him do whatever is right." Lilly looked down. "I'm sorry, Lilly, I'm so so sorry. I know you can't get through to him. But what I can't understand is why you think I'm the best, the right one."

"God Virginia, I've known you since you were a child and so has James. Have you counted how many times you've saved his life?"

"Or how many times I've put it in jeopardy? He has never wanted me in a 'public relationship', how can I be right?

"Believe him when he says he loves you. James thinks you are the best thing that could ever happen to Harry."

"James has the hots for redheads." Lilly giggled, her eyes gloved with pride.

"Of all the things he had to inherit from James, he got his looks and his love for redheads." Lilly tilted her head and looked at her closely. "Fighting in the war together, it gave you a very special bound. You won't understand that until you have to give it up, and he won't be able to give it up, he's in too deep."

"No, he's too deep into this marriage thing. He won't break her heart. He got that from you."

"Harry is a lot like me, and therefore I can say that the most important heart, the one he won't break, is his own. Shield your heart and shield your life. He's always been told to shield what I gave him; therefore he's always been afraid of dying."

"He has put his life on the line…"

"Because it was expected of him, because he had to. You wouldn't understand Virginia, you were never afraid of dying. You gladly put your life at risk for what you believe in, no doubt, no fear. Just like James."

"If I didn't win, what was the use of living?"

"I understood that when I got Harry."

"He changes lives, doesn't he?"

"He didn't change yours, you were only interested in him because he looked like James."

"I did not, he's really interesting, he was so when he was 11 to. Ok, so dreaming about his father made him a bit more interesting."

"How is it talking to him?" Ginny was surprised she hadn't asked about that before.

"He isn't easy to talk to, he has to really trust you to tell you everything. He's stubborn, if you don't agree with him he won't talk to you for a while. But he isn't good with words, he's childish and sometimes naive. I like talking to him, he has a soft voice if you haven't heard."

"No, I've never heard his voice. I can't understand why I can't talk to him. I can talk to Remus, but I was never able to break through to Harry or Sirius. I can't understand why."

"Guilt" Ginny said.

"What?" Lilly looked puzzled at her.

"They feel guilty, they never let go, never grieved and they will never be able to. They feel guilty, it was their fault you died, or they think so."

"I have never felt Harry think that."

"Have you ever felt him think about you or James?"

"Just when he was a child, but guilt?"

"Don't give away what your mother gave you. You saved his life by loosing yours." Lilly looked down,

"You know Virginia, I've been wondering why James connected with you, why he started coming into your dreams. If I had believed in destiny I would say it was that, but then I don't. I'm just real glad he did, and glad you met Remus. He says it was almost like having me back, except you are more trouble." Ginny laughed.

"I was always loads of trouble. I've also been wondering why, but I guess we'll never know."

"Virginia, I think Harry will come around, he'll understand that you are the right one. I hope he does, he has tried everything, now he must find the right one, he'll have the best."

"We'll see what happens."

"Yes, we'll see."

"Have you talked to Remus lately?"

"James has, 5 years, and he still thinks he's just dreaming."

"What are they talking about?"

"After he found out about Hermione, James is mostly joking, wondering how it is to sleep with a professor. I don't care if she's a professor, as long as he's happy."

"I agree with you."

"Virginia, can you promise me one thing?"

"Yes, what?"

"Next time he tells you that he loves you, kiss him and tell him you love him to."

"I will."

"I didn't get to become much older than you, use all the time you got with the one you love properly. You mean the world to Harry, don't let him screw up"

"He has to decide for himself, Lilly."

"So you are going to let him go just because he's stupid?"

"He isn't stupid, he's just…" she bit her lip. "I don't have a clue what he is."

"He's stupid if he lets you go. He wants you."

"That was what he said that night in school, that night we had one drink too much to keep our feelings secret, but not so many we'd lost our mind completely. He said he wanted me, and he got me, body, mind and soul.

"What did he say that morning?" Ginny thought back.

"He told me I was beautiful, and that I was one of the few things that reminded him that life was worth living. Kind of funny, I kept reminding myself it was worth dying for. He told me I wasn't caused by death and misery, I was real, I was forever. Mostly he talked rubbish; he's good at that."

"I'm sure he is, but you can't classify everything he says as rubbish. Even if it makes things easier for you."

"How can it make it easier for me?"

"Telling yourself he didn't mean it, saying it just to make you stay." Lilly was playing with the ring on her finger. "Easier to let it go if you think it wasn't real."

"Maybe it wasn't, maybe I'm not letting go, maybe I'm just realising…"

"Shut up Virginia, this is rubbish. Nothing Harry ever said is rubbish like this, if you want him, go and get him, you always take what you want."

"Yes, if it was right, if I were qualified. And, by the way, this isn't something I can just take. Harry has to realise that if he wants to be with me he has to…"

"Give her up, leave her, break her hart."

"Yes, and he wont do that, we're all living a dream."

"Then maybe it's time to wake up, time to see what is real and what isn't." The light in the room around them flickered. "Let's see if he's got more courage then you gave him credit for during the war."

"It wasn't lack of courage, he just wouldn't follow me and Herm on our suicide missions." She smiled "wish me luck then, Lilly."

"Good luck Virginia, and get some sleep now."

"See you later then, Lilly."

"Don't fight him, he's not the enemy."  
A cracking sound woke Ginny up; she grabbed the wand on her nightstand. It could just be Marie, but her instinct told her to expect the worst.


	8. A bit more

A/N: It's been a long time since I updated last, I'll be better in the future, but then I always say that. I'm always quicker if someone tells me to hurry up. Enjoy

**8. A bit more**

She got to her feet and opened the door to the living room. Marie was still asleep. Ginny raised her wand and walked into the living room, as she turned towards the hallway she saw a black figure.

"Harry? What the hell are you doing here?" Ginny was trying to keep her voice down, which wasn't easy under the circumstances.

"I wanted to see you; I wanted to talk to you." He stumbled as he walked towards her.

"Harry, keep your voice down, Marie is sleeping on the couch." Harry wrapped his arms around Ginny, his fingers dug into the black silklike fabric of her nightdress. Her skin smelled of sage, it always did. He kissed her neck before he started to speak.

"I don't want to leave you, I love you. Can't we run away together?"

"Harry you're drunk and that is…" She stopped and looked at him, how stupid could he be? "I love you to," she said before she kissed him. "But running away is a bad idea. I don't run, I think it is cowardly, that's why I never ran from anything."

"Yeah so it would be typical of me to run, we already know I'm a coward" Harry straightened up.

"Harry," she put her arms around his neck and pulled him down to her. "No one ever called you a coward."

"But you all thought it." Harry's voice was higher than Ginny liked, she could see Marie twisting on the couch.

"Not so loud, you'll wake Marie."

"Screw Marie"

"I think you've already done that." Ginny pulled him into the bedroom and put a silencing spell on the room. She put the wand back on the nightstand and looked at her alarm clock, half past four in the morning. "Did you come here to yell at me? Fine, now is the time, with me worrying about waking Marie."

"I didn't come here to yell at you, I never want to yell at you. I came to ask you to run away with me, but you don't want to." She was surprised how sober he suddenly seamed.

"It's not that easy. You are engaged to Marie, and what would happen when we came back? What will everyone else say, what will happen to us? We can't go back to the way it used to be, even if you want it to. You never wanted to change this, you still don't want to change this." Harry wrapped his arms around her again and whispered.

"I would turn the world up side down if it meant I could be with you." He wasn't going to let her go this time.

"One more sugar coated lie Harry, and I'll be sick. Do you remember who I am? I'm your best friend's baby sister. I'm the little redhead that blushed every time I saw you for years. I snatched the position as captain from right under your nose, I've put your life in jeopardy a million times. I was one of the girls that made you seem like a coward, is that really who you want to date?" He was still holding her. She didn't try to get away from him, she loved the way he held her. They had always been more of an item than what could possibly be camouflaged as overtime. They had been a team for so many years at Hogwarts that when they graduated they couldn't let go of seeing each other and talking everyday. To the world they were the best of friends, but so much more than that when they were alone. Harry pulled back a bit so he could look at her.

"You aren't just Ron's baby sister. You are Virginia, you are my best friend, and you grew out of that little shy girl a long time ago." He kissed her. "And you were a far better captain then I could ever be." Ginny grinned.

"You won't admit I'm a better Quidditch player than you."

"Can't tell you that, I'd be lying." She rested her head against his chest. Countless times they'd discussed who was the best Quidditch player, and again, just for a couple of seconds they were the only thing in the world. No problems, no girlfriends, no boyfriends, no brothers, no professors, nothing that could break them apart. "And then you always were a bit stronger than me, that's why we never duelled, I knew I would probably loose." He smiled and kissed the top of her head. Ginny pulled back.

"Take a cab home Harry, get married and have your happily ever after." She smiled and stroked his cheek.

"If I'm going to have happily ever after you are going to be a big part of it.!

"No, you'll be fine without me."

"Gin, 3 days is the longest I've gone without seeing you in ages. I snuck in to Hogwarts after graduation for an entire year just to see you." He stopped. "If this is about…" He stopped again, she could see him going pale. "If you don't want us to be more than we were, tell me…"

"Harry." Her lips brushed his. "Would I have made such a fuss during dinner if I didn't care? There is a reason why I let you tease me, and lead me on. I don't let people do that to me, unless I have a very good reason."

"We would have it all wouldn't we? Love for each other, history, friendship, common interests, trust, and still you won't drop everything and come with me."

"Where do you plan to go, Harry? How do you want to explain this to everyone? And by the way, you are the one with all the strings attached."

"I know, everything is just so difficult. I wish my parents were alive, I could do with some guidance. I never got to know them, but still I wonder what they would have wanted me to do." There was something bitter in Harry's voice.

"I think your mother would have wanted you to have the best, you are her son, she would want you to be happy. To have the one you love, and she would probably want you to be a bit more like your father, willing to take a risk to get what you want."

"You think so?" Ginny nodded. "Who is the one?"

He looked at her.

"You are the only one who knows, Harry." His eyes were confused. "You should get home. I need some sleep, I'm leaving in the morning."

"Can't I stay here with you?"

"No, go home Harry. Marie is sleeping in the livingroom, and the two of us in here would be a bit odd."

"It's ok, I see what you mean. I think I'll walk home. Good night then Gin." He walked out of the bedroom.

"Sweet dreams Harry" she leaned against the door.

"Probably about you then, and I'm trying to sweet talk you."

"Harry, I must ask, how did you get in?"

"Disarmed 3 locking charms and picked the lock."

"Why did I give you a key, you obviously don't need it."

A/N: I have corrected some small errors in the earlier chapters.

**please, please, pretty please review.**


	9. Erised

AN: Hopes someone still wants to read this, had a really bad year so haven't gotten around to publishing until now. I love reviews, so I hope you like it and tell me what you think

**Erised**

"Why has no one told me that Harry and Gin used to be a couple?" Marie was sitting on the counter in Fred and George's shop.

"Harry and Ginny? You have to be kidding, they haven't even been on a date. Kind of funny idea though, Ginny fancied Harry during her first years at Hogwarts, but nothing more." George shook his head.

"What about two years ago?" She looked at them, trying to see if they were hiding something.

"No, he dated that black haired girl back then. Fred, do you remember her name?" Fred popped his head up from a box of some new invention.

"No, but she looked a lot like Cho" he paused to think. "Doesn't really matter who she was, Ginny and Harry just never happened. Harry always had someone else and Ginny never has time for relationships."

"So they have never had a romantic relationship?" the boys looked at her, didn't she hear them the first time?

"Not romantic and not physical. Marie can you help me with these boxes?" Fred asked.

"Sure" she was used to helping out in the store, she'd worked here when she met Harry.

"You aren't looking for a reason to break up with Harry, are you?" George looked up from his papers and looked at her.

"No, of course I'm not. There is just so much I don't know about him, like who he has dated."

"Most of the girls he knows, but not Ginny. They wouldn't be able to keep that from us." George said. "And Hermione of course, he never dated her."

"So you are sure about Harry and Ginny?" Marie didn't look reassured.

"Why are you suddenly so nervous about Ginny?"

"They're just so close, and they have done everything together."

"Just relax, Ginny won't stand in the way if Harry wants to get married. Are you sure you don't want to come back and work for us?"

"Yes, I like it at the ministry, and the best thing is that no one plays jokes on me every 5 minutes." She giggled.

"The girl simply doesn't know how to have fun." Fred said to George.

"I do know how to have fun, but right now I have to get back to work."

*****************************

Hermione heard her office door slide open. She was the only one in her office, but still the door was closing. There was no one else there, but she could hear the click of the lock when the door closed. She reached for her wand.

"Gosh Herm," Harry pushed back the hood of the Invisibility Cloak. "Are we all that tense? Last night Ginny came at me with a wand."

"No, but when someone or something shows up like that I get nervous." Harry was surprised how little she looked like a professor the way he remembered them. Her hair lose, she was wearing a plain white shirt and a skirt, was that her old school skirt?

"Are you wearing your old school skirt?" Harry asked

"Yes, but…"

"You are the teacher all the boy have the hots for." She blushed.

"Are you here for a reason?" Remus had already told her all the boys had the hots for her, she didn't need to hear it again.

"I actually have a reason for sneaking in here. You work here." He paused.

"I've noticed." She smiled.

"Let me finish, do you know if Dumbledore still has the mirror of Erised in school?"

"Yes, he's still got it." Herm stopped, she wanted an explanation.

"Do you know where it is?"

"Yes but, why do you want it?" Hermione didn't like the mirror, she knew all to well what powers it had.

"I just want to look in it. I'm a bit lost and just need to know what my heart thinks."

"Desire, what your heart desires." Hermione corrected.

"You are right. Will you let me see it?" Harry knew she was studding him carefully.

"Are you sure you need it?"

"I can't think of anything else to do." She could see Harry was in despair.

"Of course you can see it, if you think it is necessary to sort out your life," she said trying to make sure he really needed it.

"I know you don't like the mirror but this time it can avoid a lot of suffering." Harry knew he was trying to defend what he was about to do.

"You don't have to defend yourself to me, I have used it too often myself." She smiled carefully. "I have 20 minutes before my next class, so if you want me to show you the mirror we have to go now."

"Ok." Harry pulled on the Invisibility Cloak on again.

"Harry, could you take off the cloak again, if people see me talking to myself they will think I'm crazy. We aren't in school anymore."

"You are right Herm." Harry pulled off the cloak again, "Show me the way." Hermione knew the castle like the back of her hand. They had passed three locked doors before Hermione whispered a password at a mirror.

"We're here." She pulled Harry through the mirror.

"Why is this place so well protected?"

"I think Remus wanted to hide it from me, but it didn't work for long."

"The two of you are strange."

"I know. I have to get to class, so have a nice time with the mirror. I'll see you later."

"Have a nice class." Harry found himself alone with the mirror.

What if he saw his parents and nothing else? He stepped in front of the mirror, he was almost afraid to look. He couldn't believe his eyes as he looked in to the mirror. "Ginny" he whispered. He closed his eyes, and opened them again. No, it was still there. There were his parents, but in front of James stood Ginny and on her arm was a sleeping baby. Harry was in shock, he had always wanted a family of his own but he had never sat down and thought about a child. He looked up at Ginny again, she was beautiful. Right now he wished this were more then a reflection. He would like this to be real. He saw James kiss the top of Ginny's head, she smiled at him. James took Lilly's hand and pulled her closer, he gave Harry thumbs up. Lilly put a hand on Harry's shoulder. He touched his shoulder in pure reflex, there was nothing there, he knew that. It was just a reflection, a reflection of something he wanted badly. This had been a bad idea, instead of being unsure and confused this image would burn into his mind, impossible to forget. It was a perfect picture, two happy parents with their son, their daughter-in-law and their grandchild. His parents in the mirror seemed to like Ginny. Would they have liked her if they were alive? Of course they would, what was not to like about her? Harry looked away from the mirror. Was he looking for approval? Whose approval was he looking for? His parents were dead. Ginny's brothers had almost bitten the head off every boyfriend Ginny ever had, no one was ever good enough for her. They would kill him for what he had done to her. If anyone wasn't worthy of her, it was him, and still she stuck with him, maybe she was stupid, or maybe she just loved him. He looked back at the mirror, he could stay a while. Harry sat down in front of the mirror, he had loads of time, and even if hadn't had all day he wasn't ready to leave yet.

Hermione walked through the mirror. She looked at Harry, he was too caught up in the mirror. She knew that feeling a bit too well, the feeling of not wanting to let go of the image in the mirror.

"Harry." He almost jumped in surprise. At least she got his attention away from the mirror. "You have been here more than long enough." He looked at her.

"You are properly right, Herm." He got up.

"Did you find what you were looking for."

"Well, I must say that what I found was quite a surprise." He walked towards her.

"Good surprise or bad surprise?" Hermione asked.

"I'm not sure yet." Hermione smiled carefully.

"I hope it was a good surprise, will you come to lunch with me?"

"Sorry Herm, I think I should be getting back to London, I should get some work done." She giggled.

"I didn't know you could work."

"Of course I can, when I have to." It was nice to hear her laugh for once.

"Come on, let's get going, I want something to eat before lunch is over."

"Or Remus starts wondering were you are."

"That to."

"You and Remus, I would never have thought it, but then again he's exactly your type."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Kind, smart and odd." He dodged Hermione's hand. "He's just a bit odd. I'm just glad I'm finally dating someone that…"

"Is as smart as you, have your interests, an equal?"

"Yes, are you?" she looked at him, their eyes met.

"I wouldn't have anyone as stupid as me." He tried to smile, it wasn't heartfelt, he didn't know what she was thinking of.

"You aren't stupid, let's get out of here."

AN: don't forget to review


	10. It’s all about waiting

A/N: well here we go again. I started this in 2003 and it's still in that "universe", so no bitching :-p my view of Harry, Ginny and some other characters has changed a bit, ok immensely, so I've found it a bit hard to write it but I decided to take it up again and I'm working on the ending now. So hopefully I'll finish it very soon. I hope you enjoy it and please review.

**10. It's all about waiting**

Ginny was standing outside a big mansion, it looked dead. She knew it wasn't, but its owner didn't try to make it look alive. To most people he was almost dead himself. He was stuck between two chairs. He had betrayed the ones he knew, and the ones he'd helped didn't trust him. She walked up to the door through the overgrown garden. She knocked, the serpent shaped knocker still gave her the creeps. An abnormally small house elf opened.

"Ow Miss Weasly. I'll introduce you, he's in the library." She walked a couple of steps behind the house elf. "Mister Malfoy, Miss Weasly is here to see you.

"Thank you." He got up from the big armchair as Ginny entered the room. "Ginny how wonderful to see you again, it feels like ages since I saw you."

"It has been ages. You should owl me much more often." Draco took her hands, he was one of the gentlest gentlemen she knew.

"I thought you'd be busy this time of year, you should be." He led her over to an armchair opposite the one he'd been sitting in. "Do you want something to drink?"

"Yes please." She watched him, his hair was longer now, and there was no gel to keep it back. It fell over his ears, and eyes if he didn't push it away.

"Pumpkin juice?" He smiled, it was good to see him smile.

"Yes please." She smiled back. They had worked together during the war, they had turned into good friends. She was one of the few that believed he was really on their side. He gave her a glass and sat down again.

"So, what brings you here? I thought you'd be busy with Quidditch and your upcoming exams?"

"I have a couple of days off, so I thought I'd come up an visit you."

"I'm glad you did. I'm not that popular these days."

"You don't try to meet people, that's why you're not popular."

"I didn't exactly have the perfect popularity rating before and during the war either."

"No, I remember. Selfish dirt bag that treated women like trash and was likely to be the next dark lord." Ginny said it with a small smile.

"Yes, that is one way of looking at it. But let's not talk about that. I heard Potter is getting married."

"Is that all people talk about?" Ginny's voice was dripping with frustration.

"Everybody loves gossip. Especially when it's blown up by Witch Weakly."

"What do you mean?" Ginny was more than a little surprised to find out that Draco read Witch Weakly. He threw her a copy of the magazine. The cover was cowered in pink letters: 'Harry Potter's getting married. Read all about his fiancée, their romance and their wedding plans.' It flashed and sparkled against her.

"Merlin, they haven't even sat a date yet."

"It get's worse Gin, look at page 8." Ginny didn't know how it possibly could get worse. She found what Draco meant. A small frame in the left corner. 'Potter not ready to settle down?' and there was a picture of them kissing, a very lousy picture thankfully. "It's you isn't it?"

"Yes, but I don't know how they could make a picture like that, it's a very good manipulation." He looked at her, they both knew he knew she was lying.

"Yes it is. They can make wonderful things now a days." She was thankful he didn't say any more about it.

"Would you mind if I stayed a couple of days?"

"I would be delighted." He smiled, the little gesture took years of him. He'd aged beyond his years, but she had barely changed.

* * *

Remus fumbled with the door handle, it was difficult opening the door and kissing Hermione at the same time. He finally got the door open and Hermione pulled slightly away from him. "Gin?" she said while hoping the air would return to her lungs.

"Hi guys," she said a bit more embarrassed than she'd like to admit. "Maybe I should go somewhere else…"

"Of course not, there are other days." Hermione smiled and took Remus' hand.

"Where have you been?" Remus asked at they sat down opposite her.

"I've been with Draco."

"Malfoy?" Hermione asked surprised, Remus squeezed her hand and shook his head when she looked at him.

"He's fine." Ginny continued as if Hermione hadn't asked. "He's lonely, but that's not unexpected, you know Remus."

"All too well." Remus could see there were things going on in Ginny's head she didn't want to tell Hermione about. "You can stay here tonight if you want to, Gin."

"I'd like that, I'm exhausted." Remus looked at Hermione.

"I'll see you two in the morning then. And sweetheart, the Friday meeting, it's tomorrow morning."

"Of course I remember, I know the days." Hermione smiled.

"You forgot last week." Ginny laughed and got an ugly look from Remus. "Good night Gin. I love you, Remus."

"I love you too." She kissed him on the cheek and closed the door behind her.

"So, how are you really?"

"I don't know, I feel lost. I can't believe Harry. He agrees to marry her but he still wants to continue whatever it is we have been doing." Remus had been afraid of this, he was hurting Ginny and he consumed too much of her mind. If it had been closer to full moon he might beat some sense into him. "Not only that, he wants me to run away with him. How old is he exactly?"

"It isn't a question of age, I don't know what he's thinking." Remus was waiting for her to blow up or break down.

"I don't think he's thinking at all. He thinks he's the centre of everyone's attention, the centre of my life. He's driving me crazy. He thinks the world is so simple." Ginny was rambling.

"You haven't exactly made it difficult for him, you should have told him that it was you or them a long time ago."

"I know that, you've told me that before. God Remus, I don't even know what I want anymore, he's messing up my life. Who on earth wants to marry Harry Potter? He's insane, probably has some kind of serious problem. He works 24-7, he's barely ever home." She was on the verge of collapsing. He sat down next to her.

"Relax Ginny."

"Remus…" She took a deep breath. "Why am I not good enough for Harry?" He looked into her eyes and could see that she was hurting. Even if the full moon was a week away the wolf growled inside him.

"Ow Ginny, you're too good for him." She crept closer to him. "If he doesn't want you, or just wants to have you as a secret, you shouldn't bother with him. He isn't worth it." He hugged her, pulling her even closer.

"It's not that easy, I think I'm in too deep."

"I know." He kissed the top of her head. "You need to sleep, let's go to bed." She nodded and he followed her into the bedroom.

"Do you think Hermione is ok with this?" she looked at him.

"I think she trusts us, and she knows how much I love her." Ginny smiled, she was pretty sure he was right. It didn't take long before she was lying next to Remus almost fully dressed. There was something safe about him, she didn't really understand it, she just accepted it.

"Remus?" He could hear that she was half asleep.

"Yeah."

"How did you feel when Hermione didn't want to bring you to dinner, or tell anyone? I know it was her idea." She knew that Remus liked to keep his private life private but Hermione was even worse.

"It was logical, not putting things at risk before we were sure we wanted this." He rolled over to his side and looked at Ginny. "But as things evolved I felt a bit like you, not sure if she really wanted me. But then today when she kissed me at dinner, I don't know what happened, but now it's public." Ginny smiled.

"She kissed you?"

"Yes, as soon as I got in the door. Your mother yelled at me first chance she got, but I think it's growing on her. She wrote me yesterday inviting me to dinner next week.

"I didn't think she had the guts."

"Molly?"

"No, Hermione."

"Nor did I, we haven't told Dumbledore yet. I don't know how he'll react."

"I think he'll be fine, you are adults. And anyway I think I saw him kissing McGonagall once."

"You're kidding?"

"No. You know he was her teacher."

"How do you know that?"

"You'd be amazed at the things I know."

"I wonder if any students have seen me and Hermione…"

"Probably, you're not the most discreet people." They were quiet for a while.

"Gin?"

"Mhm?"

"Do you love Harry?"

"Yes Remus, I do."

"Good, I think his parents would have liked you." She smiled.

"What makes you think that?" she was almost asleep and he knew it.

"I knew them, and I had a dream about them, a very vivid dream."

"Are you sure it was a dream?"

"What do you mean?"

"Good night, Remus." He knew she wasn't going to answer.

"Good night, Ginny."

"Come on Harry, can't you call it a night and come spend some time with me?" Marie was sitting in the coach watching Harry working with some reports on the other side of the room.

"I just have to finish this." He'd been working around the clock the last couple of days. He'd been acting strange since some time last week, and especially since the dinner with the Weasley's, Marie felt as if she was walking on eggshells.

* * *

"Come on Harry, you've been working all day, it will still be there in the morning." He looked over at her.

"5 more minutes and I'll be with you. I just have to finish this." He knew he'd been distant lately, especially since his visit at Hogwart's, but he had no idea what to do. He'd tried finding Ginny, but every owl he sent came back with the letter. He knew she had returned the letters herself, that hurt. He heard a knock at the window, it was probably the letter he tried to send Ginny earlier.

"I'll get it." Marie let the owl inn and took the letters. "There are two letters, one for Ginny and one for you." She looked from the letters to Harry and back again.

"The one for me, does it have a sender?" He didn't look up, he wasn't handling this well at all.

"It's from Malfoy…" Marie sounded as surprised as Harry was. "Shall I open it?"

"Just the one from Malfoy." She took out the parchment and read.

"Potter. Gin has left. Stop bothering her all the time. It is clear that she doesn't want to speak to you, so leave her alone. Whatever you've done to her, someone should have your head for it. Malfoy." Harry sat there half frozen. He'd just let Marie read a letter that came with one of the returned letters, he must have lost it completely. He got up, took the letters from Marie, he looked unsure what to do with them until he threw them in the fire.

"Are you always like this when you haven't seen _her_ for ten minutes?" The way Marie said 'her' surprised Harry, it sounded like the way he once had said 'Malfoy'.

"I've been looking for her. She's one of my best friends and we've been arguing. You have no idea how bad that makes me feel." He could see how frustrated she was.

"I get that you feel bad, but sometimes it feels like she's more important to you than I am. Your job and her. I get that your job is important but I'm not going to share you with some other girl." 'Nor will she.' Harry thought, his blood was boiling and by the look of it Marie wasn't any calmer.

"What do you mean by that? How often will you let me see Ginny? Once a week? Once a month?" He walked over to the window. How often Marie let him meet Ginny probably didn't matter, Ginny probably didn't want to see him if he got married anyway.

"I didn't mean it like that. Sometimes you are so stupid. But you won't even tell me what was between you and Ginny, but I'm supposed to be fine with you running around with her all the time."

"Ginny and I are friends, old friends, nothing more." Harry went into defensive mode.

"I found a picture in Ginny's apartment saying something else, a picture taken two years ago." Harry's heart sank, his birthday present for Ginny, this would go to hell. "I asked Fred and George if you and Ginny ever had been an item, but you haven't, have you?" He'd been looking for a way to tell her, but now she'd found one on her own.

"Yes, Ginny and I have been lovers." His voice was calm, so calm he surprised himself.

"When? Why haven't you told me?" he turned and looked at her. He wouldn't lie to her, it was now or never.

"It started when we were at school." He swallowed. "And ended last week." She was stunned.

"You mean you've been cheating on me all this time?" he could see she was angry but it felt good to finally tell someone.

"Yes."

"Have you ever had a girlfriend you haven't cheated on?"

"No, I've always had Ginny." He'd never before thought there was anything to the saying that the truth will set you free, but he could say it was true now.

"You cheated on me when I proposed?" she was desperately trying to get a grip. "But it's over, right?" It was Harry's turn to be stunned.

"What?"

"You broke it off with her and want to be with me, right?"

"She broke it off with me because we said we were getting married."

"She was pretending to have morals all of a sudden. I can't believe it. You, Harry Potter, you are a cheater. Aren't you supposed to be brave and loyal and pure hearted or whatever they say?" He felt lost, a small voice in his head was screaming for him to end it now.

"I hope you haven't been living with the media's fantasy image of me all this time. I've never been everything everyone thought I was. And my friends know that."

"You know Harry, I thought I knew you but I didn't know this and I'm not sure I can live with it." Marie was fighting back the tears. "You have to choose, me or Ginny, and that will be it, you'll have to live with that forever."


	11. Grow up

Wow, this took forever and then some. Well thats what happen when I along the way realised that I dont really like Harry and Ginny as a couple. Anyway, this is the last chapter, and even if I knew what was going to happen this took me forever to get right (or as right as its ever going to get). And its sort of odd finishing my own little parallel universe (I get why it took her forever to finish the books), but here we go. Thank you to everyone that has read and stuck with this story. I hope you enjoy it, and that you tell me what you think.

**Grow up**

Remus knew he was asleep, this was just a dream. No matter how real it felt it was just a dream. This sofa had been thrown out of the Gryffindor common room a long time ago. You have to stop thinking, Remus love. Youre over analysing things. Lilly sat next to him, facing him.

I think I might be going crazy, so a bit of over analysing wont hurt. She flashed him a brilliant smile, he couldnt do anything but smile back at her.

Youre not going crazy, not more than youve always been. Lilly pulled her feet up under her.

Im not sure how reassuring that is. He thought back to countless times they had been sitting like this, alone in the common room after lights out.

Come on, its not our first chat. I miss you, you know that. He wanted to reach out and touch her, but if he did he might wake up.

I miss you to, I just can't wrap my head around this. He looked around, amazed at how many details he remembered.

I know you can't, but I need to talk to you about something important. I need you to talk to Harry. Remus raised an eyebrow. Dont look at me like that. Remus rolled his eyes.

How am I supposed to look when even my dreams bring up Ginnys problem? At this point everything Harry-related had turned into Ginnys problem.

Youre supposed to say of course and do as youre told. Hes not happy, shes not happy, you know that so why dont you tell him off.

Hes not a thirteen year old boy anymore, he should be able to make his own decisions. He looked at his feet and kicked the floor as he spoke.

Well hes not, its not like boys mature much after the age of thirteen she tilted her head. You didnt stop telling James off until She stopped, they both knew where that sentence was going.

James was different, he was supposed to take care of you. He didnt always seem capable of that. Remus was the one that had told James off when he did anything stupid Lilly couldnt deal with. Like when he almost lost his job while Lilly was pregnant.

How is it different with Ginny? Remus looked into her eyes. Ginny was in so many ways just like Lilly. Strong and confident, but still she should be able to trust and rely on someone. He loved Ginny, not like he loved Lilly, but still a bit like a protective older brother. Ginny had lived through a lot more then Lilly had. Experiences that made her wise beyond her years and very capable of defending herself.

It isnt, is it? I just I think she could do better Lilly nodded at Remus words. Harry had in many ways mistreated Ginny in the years they had been together.

I know hes been a twat, but the only thing that really matters is whether she loves him or not.

She loves him if he hurts her Remus felt like wringing Harrys neck right now, he had already hurt Ginny.

Hes hurting to. Lilly twisted the ring on her finger. I know how you feel, but they should have the chance, if they are willing to risk it.

What exactly do you want me to do?

I dont know, tell him off, make him see sense. Just tell him what hes doing, tell him what you think. She pulled the ring off. He studied her. Give him this and tell him how important it is. Lilly offered him the ring.

Are you crazy? Remus just stared at the ring.

Its mine, if I want to give it to Harry I can. And anyway if this is just a dream what does t matter?

I dont know Im just worried. Lilly smiled and rubbed his cheek.

Dont be, they are adults and can take care of themselves

Im not so sure. But there is nothing else to do, is there?

No, just talk to Harry. He listens to you.

I should just do as Im told, shouldnt I?

Yeah, you should give it an early start, hell be at work anyway. You promise to talk to him?

I promise. Lilly pushed the ring into his hand and kissed his cheek. As he felt her lips leave her bright light hit his eyes. Lilly? Remus mumbeled.

Only in your dreams Remus. Ginny said drowsily. Remus looked down at his closed hand. It couldnt be there could it? He opened his hand and looked down at Lillys ring. Suddenly de couldnt be more awake.

I know. Just keep sleeping Ginny, I have some things to do.

Ok Ginny didnt open her eyes.

Remus slammed Harrys office door behind him. Harry looked startled up at him. That was a good start, just what he needed. You need to grow the hell up, Harry!

Remus

No, shut up. You are hurting Ginny, youre torturing her. You can't even let her break it off with you. You keep dragging her with you, leaving her broken every time you decide to change your mind. You dont deserve her, but she keeps staying with you. You should spend all your time trying to keep her happy. If youre not planning on doing that, you could at least leave her alone.

Remus, I Harry was expecting Remus to cut him off, he didnt really have anything to say. He watched Remus pull a small box out of his pocket.

Im going to give you something, and you can't mess this up. This is you mothers ring. He opened the box and put it down on the desk. This is not the kind of thing you give to some random girl that wants to marry the great Harry Potter. Your father had to work hard to talk his grandmother into letting him give this to Lilly. Harry stared at the ring. Hed seen it before, but only in pictures, his mothers engagement ring.

Where did you? Remus interrupted him.

Dont ask. I need to know I need to know that you wont hurt Ginny, and that youll put the ring to good use. Harry looked at the ring, he didnt feel like giving it away at all. He had practically nothing left after his parents, usually he kept the things he could get to himself.

Ill do my best not to hurt her. I never meant to you know, it was just never a good time to tell people. And she didnt want to be known as Harry Potters girlfriend I mucked it up didnt I?

Yeah, you should fix it. Remus put the ring into Harrys hand. If you dont, I will come for you and I wont be pleasant. Remus eyes had a frightening glow, Harry almost expected him to turn into a wolf there and then. Harry just nodded.

Ginny sat in the locker room, her head between her knees. Are you ok? The team doctor, who normally stayed away from Ginny, stood in the doorway.

If I was ok I wouldnt be here. It wasnt the first time shed been hit by a bludger, but it was the first time she couldnt fly afterwards. Shed stayed on the broom but the blow to the head made her lose her sense of balance.

I know that. What I meant to ask was, will you be ok? Ginny tried to lift her head but the spinning and nausea made her put it back down. Her red hair hang loose and looked like fire against the blue uniform.

I hope so. There might be some permanent damage to my balance, but lets just hope Im fine. I have no idea until the swelling goes down. Ginny rubbed the large bump on the side of her head.

Can I get you anything?

In my bag there is a box with small potions bottles, could you give me one of the clear dark read ones? He found her box.

Wow, this is one impressive collection. The clear sound of glass bottles meeting bored into her ears.

I was just at Hogwarts and got everything Ill be needing for a long time. He handed her the red potion. Its legal and everything, itll just clear up my headache. Maybe Ill be able to walk straight.

Youll be fine Im sure of it. He sat down on the bench on the other side of the room.

So how were we doing when you left?

Its still tight, so its all down to the snitch. They could hear the stadium erupting in a roar. I guess somebody ended it.

Sounds like it. The noise hadnt died down when they heard footsteps coming down the hall.

Ginny! One of their beaters came storming in to the locker room. We won, and you have to come out at once. Ginny looked up, her head felt better, well at least lifting it didnt make her fell like throwing up anymore.

I dont know if shes well enough to take part in the celebrations. The doctor tried to explain, giving Ginny an out if she didnt want to go.

If you dont come right now, Ginny, Ill carry you out there myself. Ginny sighed.

Im coming. She got to her feet, steadying herself against the wall. You have to stop looking so exited, its not the first game weve won.

Are you ok?

Ill be fine, no flying and Ill be fine. She rubbed her temples and pushed her hair out of her face. If we keep this up we can win the League. The headache and nausea should be disappearing, hopefully before she stepped onto the pitch shed be fine. She felt like throwing something at the beater half running in front of her, but it probably wouldnt hit him.

Come on Ginny, hurry. She could hear the noise from the spectators getting louder as they came closer. She looked up at them as she stepped out on the pitch, the noise died down, an electric silence. She looked around. Her teammates were standing on the side of the pitch. What the hell was this?

What...? She tried to ask but they just pointed towards the middle of the pitch. How could she not have seen that? There stood Harry. She could turn and run. She didnt, she stepped closer to him. This was a different kind of nausea. She wasnt completely sure how, but long before shed expected it she stood there, face to face with Harry. Harry? She looked up at the silent crowd.

Ginny. He reached for her hand, and she gave it to him. I love you, and I want to be with you, only you. He looked into her eyes. This wasnt happening, she had to make sure she was still breathing, it was probably an illusion caused by the blow to her head. Ive been an idiot so Harry got down on one knee. This was definitely an illusion, she was probably lying on the grass unconscious. Ginny, will you marry me? He even had a ring, Lillys ring. His face was beaming.

Harry I love you too. She could see a flash of panic across his face. Get up please. The hurt in his eyes was so clear that most of the spectators could probably see it. She smiled and looked up at them. She took a small step closer to him, standing as close to him as she could while still looking him in the eye. She took his hands, and closed his hand around the ring. You had to do this here? She smiled, he just looked confused.

I I thought it was romantic. A mumble ran through the crowd.

It kind of is, but dont do it again. Im not going to marry you. She could see he was struggling to find something to say, all the insecurities in their relationship were suddenly very public. You know Harry, we havent told our friends, we havent lived together, we havent walked outside holding hands. Harry we havent even been on a real date. She bit her lip. Can't you just ask me out on a date? The smile that spread on Harrys face was blinding.

Ginny, do you want to go out for dinner?

Id love to. He lifted her up and kissed her, another roar went through the crowd.

Hows your head? Harry looked slightly worried.

Its fine, dont worry about it. Ginny swirled the wine in her glass. It might be the easiest first date ever, even with everyone looking at them. Are you going to tell me what happened? Why you suddenly made your mind up?

Not tonight. You think your mother is mad at us for cancelling dinner? Ginny laughed. Harry worried too much about what Molly thought, but Ginny was used to it.

Shes probably ecstatic. Anything that gets me closer to settling down will make her happy. Ginny ran her foot against his calf, she could get used to touching him in public.

So you turning down a proposal

Is probably killing her. But its not a permanent no you know.

I thought it sounded pretty permanent. Harry joked.

Idiot. She leaned over and kissed him. A flash from the other side of the window lit them up. See, thats why you dont propose in public, now the press wont leave us alone. Ginny smiled at the photographer; unlike Harry she had a good relationship with the press.

Its going to be a scandal, isnt it? Harry frowned, they really didnt need more noise around them.

Yes, a nice big one in witch weekly. Just wait until Marie writes a book. She laughed at Harrys look. Come on, itll be fun. You dont have to read it. She put her hand on his. It really doesnt matter what the press writes, well be fine, were always fine.

I just want to keep you to myself, is that so wrong?

Well, between your fans and mine I guess it is. More importantly, Im keeping you to myself, for the first time. She ran her hand along the inside of his shirt collar and pulled out the thin golden chain with lilys ring on it. And hopefully well keep it that way for a long time.

I promise.


End file.
